It ain’t majestic, it ain’t graceful, and it definitely ain’t for good eatin’—but you can’t look at one without crackin’ a grin. Just a lil’ round fella standin’ around, judgin’ the world, and lookin’ mildly concerned about everything.
The Velicowrangler is a cowboy unlike any other. He rides the fierce and mighty velociraptor, a prehistoric creature that none have dared to tame. Believe it or not, he once told us the secret to taming a velociraptor is quality chips and salsa.
Ain’t a good idea to 50/50 a longhorn. Trust us, cowboy. Daggum flip kick on the other hand? A stunt like that’ll land ya one heckuva sponsorship. Probably not from us though.
We kept going west till we ended up somewhere else entirely. Maybe it was east. Maybe it was a fever dream. All we know is, the sashimi was fresh, the barstools were low, and the neon signs looked mighty familiar.