Deep in the heart of Tejas, two skeletons come to life under the full moon. Known as "Los Viejones," these spirited ancestors adorned in traditional attire, dance the night away, their bones rattling a rhythmic tune that echoes through the plains.
Just about every city kiddo that dreamed of bein’ a cowboy when they grew up started with a trusty stick horse. Complete with obnoxious neighing that'd make mama bust out the middle name.
Now, it’s not a record-breakin’ bass… we know. But we’ve all felt the tug of one of these suckers. Big, mean, and guaranteed to put up a struggle—until you reel it in and realize you’ve been wranglin’ half a mesquite tree this whole time.
If ya squint just right on a day that’s hotter’n’hell you might catch a glimpse of a cowgirl mermaid relaxing in a cool spring; is this just what yer parched self needed? Naw… that’s a daggum mirage!
Heart beating heavy in your ears, the unmistakable smell of fuel and burning rubber (perhaps some manure), this is the race of a lifetime. Everything has built to this moment, this quarter mile.
That daggum bear didn’t know if it was fightin’ or flightin'—but it sure as heck didn’t know who was chasin’ it. A guy? On a buffalo? That’s right, nature’s most unstoppable force ridin’ nature’s most unstoppable creature
Picture yourself sitting on the banks of the beautiful north country of the Río Grande: crisp mountain air, cold Lone Stars in the cooler, the perfect fly on your line. This is the dream.
Rode hard into a typhoon for several days. Couldn’t see five feet in front of our faces, but we drove the herd till we found some new country to pasture ‘em in. They grill their fish over charcoal and serve it with pickled plums in these parts.
These cowgirls ain’t givin’ the table up that easy, amigo. If you want in, you’re gonna have to play ‘em for it. Just don’t put too much money on the line, cuz once you see the break, you may be regrettin’ your decision.
When you’re lost in the Galactic West, ridin’ a horse named Jupiter in the asteroid belt, a laser-proof sidekick is all you need to stay on the straight and narrow. Fair warning. This ol’ tin can is smarter than he looks.
This cowboy went west seeking the toughest ride known to man. He conquered every bull he could find and kept goin’. The big orange whiskered fellah was a different sorta beast.
Ain’t a good idea to 50/50 a longhorn. Trust us, cowboy. Daggum flip kick on the other hand? A stunt like that’ll land ya one heckuva sponsorship. Probably not from us though.
Here at The Cowboy Country Club we don’t concern ourselves with things like “dress code” or “decorum” we just value the important stuff like cold Lone Star and a dang good chicken fried steak at the clubhouse.
Listen, everybody loves a good yardbird. They eat the bugs, keep ornery snakes away, and they don’t take no crap from no one. Yes, we know that’s a double negative, but it’s for emphasis!
The Velicowrangler is a cowboy unlike any other. He rides the fierce and mighty velociraptor, a prehistoric creature that none have dared to tame. Believe it or not, he once told us the secret to taming a velociraptor is quality chips and salsa.
Sendero’s Hand Tied Flies! Best flies this side of the Mississippi… cause who even bothers fishin’ on the other? We've got flies so realistic, you'd swear they were spun by Mother Nature herself.
Sharp as a mesquite thorn and twice as tough, el coyote doesn’t ask for a seat at the table. It just sneaks in, swipes your green chile enchiladas, and it’s gone before you even notice.
El aguila ain't here to make friends—it’s here to rule the sky and steal your lunch. One minute, it's soaring like a symbol of freedom, the next, it's snatching your al pastor taco straight outta your hand and swooping back for the cerveza.
If ya squint just right on a day that’s hotter’n’hell you might catch a glimpse of a cowgirl mermaid relaxing in a cool spring; is this just what yer parched self needed? Naw… that’s a daggum mirage!
